Living during a global pandemic and experiencing two lock downs this year has created a sea of despair, apathy and loneliness for many regardless of gender, age, socio-economic or marital status.

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) research has seen levels of loneliness fluctuating during the pandemic showing about one in four adults experiencing loneliness sometimes. However in the week up to 1 November the measure of more acute loneliness – those “always or often” lonely – reached 8%, the highest it has been since the start of the pandemic, and representing 4.2 million people. Pre-pandemic surveys showed about 5% of adults “always or often” lonely which equates to about 2.6 million people.

The rise of the virtual church and living has contributed to loneliness due to limited in person contact for church goers which has created a sense of disconnect for many especially those that struggle with using technology. Psychological difficulties such as depression and social anxiety are predictors of loneliness and living during another lock down only serves to further exacerbate this. Its important for Church Leaders to be aware of this and to consider how to remain relevant by addressing the Church members diverse needs and being innovative in countering loneliness. It’s important to remember that you’re part of the body of Christ and the church isn’t the building but the people.

If you’re feeling lonely consider how you can counter this and it may be serving in the church , volunteering or meeting with friends for regular walks. God is your heavenly father and understand s how you feel and even when He doesn’t appear to be present remember that He will never leave or forsake you ( Hebrews 13v15) and the Holy spirt is your comforter and counsellor in times of need. King David experienced times of loneliness and turned to God in his time of affliction and loneliness (Psalms 25v16) Loneliness Hacks! Go to places where there are many people but you’re not expected to speak them such as a Shopping Mall, Super Market, Gym or Language class where everyone is focused on an activity. The aforementioned activities can be useful if you feel a little anxious or nervous.

If you’re brave why not establish your own group based upon your interests.

feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty-
feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty-

Research suggests that beginning to open up to family and friends about how you truly feel can allow you to authentically connect and develop more robust relationships.

We know that you can feel lonely even if having many friends, family or being an extrovert. It may be helpful to open up to your Church Family or home group and to ask them to pray for you. Remember that God places the lonely in families ( psalms 68v5-6) and you have your natural and Spiritual family. As a believe you are part of the body of Christ therefore remain connected.

Consider getting a pet or loaning one as research suggests that pets can help with combatting loneliness and enhancing an Individuals mental health.

“If you’re feeling lonely consider how you can counter this and it may be serving in the church…”

This article was written in 2020 by Martina Witter in the wake of Covid 19 global pandemic.
Accredited Cognitive Behaviour Therapist I Health and Well-being Consultant I Resilience Trainer
Martina WITTER
Author: Martina WITTER

Senior Executive Contributor | The MHM Magazine | Martina Witter is an Award Winning Accredited Cognitive Behaviour Therapist who delivers proven , transformational evidence based psychotherapy. Call for a free 15 minute consultation now - +44 0161 509 4136


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