Asking for Help is a Strength

I can’t ask for help as I’m viewed as the one who’s got it altogether

I wonder if that thought has ever crossed your mind especially if you are a pastor, Church Leader or in Ministry. Unfortunately, sometimes in the Kingdom of God we can be reluctant to seek emotional or psychological help due to worrying about being perceived as spiritually inferior, lacking in faith or prayer or even not being committed enough to your Christian faith. Many expectations, assumptions and rules are covertly in place within Church culture and this can be a stumbling block for many and may lead to Individuals struggling to navigate through adversity, trauma, mental health difficulties, abuse and sexuality difficulties due to the fear of potentially being judged.

At times in life I have struggled to seek help counselling following a traumatic experience due to being a psychotherapist and knowing what is expected for the sessions to be successful. I knew asking for help was acceptable however I was not ready to process those difficult emotions of shame and guilt whilst also exploring multiple losses of relationships. At the right time I sought help which was extremely useful and helped me to process my emotions and no longer believe that I had failed. Is there something that you need to seek help for? Are you suppressing your distress and keeping busy with church activities to mask your pain? Are you engrossed in your role as a Pastor, parent, employee, business owner or friend in order to avoid seeking help?

“Asking for help is a strength”

-Mitchele Obama

If any of those questions resonate with you, I want you to know that the Lord is using this period of life being on pause during the pandemic to call you closer to him and begin a healing process. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalms 30:5). I share this from a place of experience after suffering the loss of my mother and being unable to even consider life without my mother. The Holy Spirit wants to be your counsellor (John 14:26) and remember that Jesus is your great High Priest who understands everything that you encounter (Hebrews 4:14-16).

Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened (Matt7:7)

Jesus advises us to ask and we will receive and views this as a positive posture and stance to have with him which is perceived as a strength.

Asking for help is a strength as it suggests that:

1. You’re emotionally self-aware which is a key component of emotional intelligence which is correlated with success and emotional resilience. It is important to understand your emotions and how they affect your behaviour and others. Individuals that are adept in emotional awareness are better able to self-regulate their emotions and others which is a highly sought after soft skill in business and the workplace therefore it’s important for Church personnel to develop these skills in order to grow a thriving church .

2. You recognise your human limitations

whilst placing your trust and faith in Jesus. Your faith is the evidence of your promise (Hebrews 11:1) and what you hope for therefore continue to petition Jesus as He is a faithful Saviour. The promises of God are yes and amen and he will provide all your needs according to his riches in glory (Philippians 4:19).

3. You want to grow, develop and heal as a person which is critical for every person regardless of the stage of life that you are in. Seeking help from professionals is important if you are experiencing psychological difficulties or mental health problems. It is important to be aware that there are trained Christian Counsellors, Psychotherapists, Psychologists and Psychiatrists that integrate biblical and scientific Knowledge to facilitate emotional healing therefore I would encourage you not to be deterred from seeking help. Jesus sees our hearts desires and is ready and willing to bring healing as he is Jehovah Rapha (Exo 15:26) – Christ the Healer. Jesus’s ministry consisted of healing and restoration and He was continually healing the sick and oppressed (Matt 8:16, Matt 12:15, Luke 9:11).

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4. You realise you do not have all the answers & finite resources whilst acknowledging that Jesus has everything that you need. Jesus will supply your psychological, spiritual, emotional and physical needs so long as you continue to trust in Him. Jesus supplies all your needs according to his riches in glory (Phil 4:19).

5. You Understand the need for Specialists Professional intervention and support as they are available to alleviate your distress and to facilitate healing and emotional recovery. Specialists such as Psychologists, life coaches or psychotherapists can assist you along this journey of life whilst allowing you to skil- fully and successfully navigate through adversity. As shared previously, I say this from a place of experience having tapped into counsellors’ expertise when I was at breaking point. Yes, I did say that! being a Christian does not make you immune to adversity! It is important to remember that Jesus is always with you even when you may feel numb and unable to experience his presence. Remember that life throws lemons at you but you can choose to make lemonade, and this is what I have done in my life and it is allowed me to develop my resilience muscles.

Author: Martina WITTER

Senior Executive Contributor | The MHM Magazine | Martina Witter is an Award Winning Accredited Cognitive Behaviour Therapist who delivers proven , transformational evidence based psychotherapy. Call for a free 15 minute consultation now - +44 0161 509 4136