Mental Well beingRelationshipsTrue StoryWorldWritten by Ruth

Just Not Good Enough.

Your not good enough” is words I place over my self month in month out. It could be, I don’t feel good enough to do it, or not good enough for that person, or not good enough mother. Who are we not good enough for? What are we not good at? Who is measuring us?

We are the ones measuring ourselves. We are the ones so negative to ourselves. Some times others plant thoughts and doubts in our minds but we are the ones who make that little seed grow into big thoughts and make it control us.

Being asked for help by my fellow Christians I am always full of doubt. Not because I don’t want to help as I love helping people, and love to do what I can for others but I fear I am just not good enough, like I don’t have the best skills for the Job.

I find myself explaining my background history of things I have done or not done greatly so they know what they are getting themselves in for, all before they even asked anything of me. If I do something I find out I come away feeling disappointed in myself, even if I did it well.

The thing is I have this measure that I am not meeting and honestly I don’t think I will ever meet, because the more I grow and become stronger or more confident in areas of my life the more my measure is still far, because it’s like it becomes bigger too.

Its good to set goals for ourselves and push ourselves out of our comfort zones to achieve new things and grow as a person but not goals that we will never meet. Make small goals, and be proud when you make them.

Your biggest fan and your biggest enemy is yourself. Don’t judge yourself and be hard on yourself, be proud of the things you do, and even if it does not go fully to plan, find the thing that did go well and be proud and work on areas where you felt you did not do great. We are all learning all the time and we are all not perfect.

I struggle with dyslexia and this holds me back a lot, I have had lots of negative comments from school to work life when I’d struggled to write a essay and teacher make lots of changes in red pen and write not good enough or writing out forms and making mistakes people look at you as if you’re crazy. Its been hard to overcome. And I found myself avoiding places that I be asked to write or read out loud.

I would think that by the age of 32 that I would not let dyslexia control me but those words you are not good enough just keeps coming up in everything I try and achieve. I tried to be open with people when it comes to my dyslexia and my illnesses, things that may stop me being the best person for them to help me, but when asked to do something still, I do what I can, the best way I can and God sees that.

I am proud with what I have done and achieved and this year I have seen many blessings by God. Doors have opened, and the doors closed new things have opened that I just can’t stop praising God for all He has done.

The year 2019 my website took off and have enjoyed every moment of helping Christian artists. I have travelled and attended events and this year I was nominated for publication of the year award for the GX Awards. Though Ruthie Christian Media – RCM did not win, it came in one of the top three, this was a huge achievement, I just thank and Bless God for all He is doing.

I may be dyslexic but I am running my website, I write for The MHM Magazine , and I help fellow Christians ministries: I won’t let those little seeds of doubt let me stop fulfilling what God wants from me.

I am good enough!

Philippians 4:13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Connect with Ruth @ Ruthie Christian Media. A platform dedicated to promoting Christian Music and sharing God’s love with the world.

 

 

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