It’s time to start appreciating your inner and outer beauty and stop comparing yourself to others. Is it fair to compare your chapter 1 with someone else chapter 10? I meet and support so many people who are mentally bullying themselves with an inner self-critic who focuses on their weakness and ignores their positives.
Is that you? If it is why not try focusing on your strengths and work on developing your weaknesses through self development or developing your self awareness of triggers for you becoming easily irritated.
If you don’t love on yourself why will others love on you ? There are various cognitive and behavioural strategies that can be utilized to enhance your self esteem and self acceptance. Start implementing my recommendations and I guara ntee you they will be game changers andover time you will begin to see yourself developing into the best version of yourself.
What is Self-esteem ?
Self esteem can be defined as the value and worth you place on yourself as a person and your opinion of yourself. It is also how you see yourself and the judgement you make about yourself, your self image and confidence.
High Self esteem can defined as when a person is: Strong, Mentally flexible, Confident,Non-blaming and takes responsibility. A confident person also experiences Self –direction, an awareness of personal strengths, good problem solving skills, the ability to say ‘no’, possesses the courage to express themselves whilst being optimistic and experiencing less emotional health difficulties.
Low self esteem is evident when an Individual is Self critical and self blaming and may experience beliefs such as I am useless and stupid. If you experience low self esteem you may struggle to say no and share your views and opinions.
Additionally someone with low self esteem will attempt to please people, find it difficult to speak up for themselves and will not put themselves forward or volunteer for things at work due to fear of failure or rejection. If you experience low self esteem you may stop taking care of yourself and are more likely to develop anxiety, worry, sadness, anger and guilt due to the low self -esteem
“Show others how to treat you by establishing boundaries and not taking crap!”
Self esteem boosters and how to love on yourself
- List your strengths regardless of how small they may be . What do other people comment upon or highlight in your personality. Here’s a few suggestions : kind, gentle , forgiving , patient , trustworthy, ambitious, reliable, tenacious, genuine. what would you add to thislist. Identifying your strengths promote self acceptance which can be lacking someone with low self esteem as they tend to have anegative bias and experience dichotomous thinking therefore overlooking their strengths.
- Accept your limitations otherwise you will burnout and not have time tomeet your needs. Limitations doesnt equate to failure but being a human with finite power and resource s. Don’t use ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ as these underlying assumptions or rules for living are rigid and creat emotional distresswhen unable to achieve them. Where do the shoulds and musts come from and can you let go of them. Try and be less rigid with your thinking
- Gain perspective on yourself by acknowledging your wins and achievements in life as it cant be all negative
- Try something new as this will enhance your confidence , build resilience and develop you as a personCelebrate your wins – what have you accomplished this week, month or year ( academically, personally, health , socially)
- Practice positive self talk as this create new neural pathways in the brain and visualise the confident you. Positive affirmations are proven methods to boost confidence as they rewire our brains and increase levels of feel good hormones/chemicals
- Try saying one positive affirmation a day as it challenges negative self-critical talk. Some great affirmations are as follows I am superior to negative thoughts and low actions, I have been given endless talents which I begin to use today, I have the qualities to be a successful person, I am courageous and stand up for myself, I am beautiful and will be the best I can be and I am blessed with an incredible family, partner and great friends.
- Accept compliments as they’re valid and you’re worthy of them
- Show others how to treat you by establishing boundaries and not taking crap! You are not a door mat but a diamond its time to shine bright for the world to see
- Be kind to yourself as this activates the soothing system which can calm you when feeling stressed or anxious. Being compassionate will counter the self critical thoughts. Treat yourself as you treat others( hopefully with love and respect)
Martina and her team are Cognitive Behaviour Therapists and Corporate Resilience and wellbeing trainers with over 15 years’ experience…